Well, I had a lot of feedback from the last post on post-natal depression. I felt like I put my heart right out there on a platter! But I know that's how God wants to use my right now, so that's cool.
This is going to be a bit more of a practical post. If you're going through it right now, you probably want to feel that you're not alone, but I just want to share a few things that have helped me so much and I hope can help you too.
things to pack in your handbag and use when needed - some everyday:
- SUNSHINE - get some vitamin D EVERYDAY! lack of vitamin d is linked to depression, just sitting on the back step in the sun for five minutes watching the birds and breathing can help so much
- VITAMIN B deficiencies are also linked with depression. I notice a huge difference in my mood when I take vitamin B supplements regularly and when I don't.
- EXERCISE - even though you feel like crawling up in a ball, you have to make yourself get some exercise. Exercise releases endorphins which make your brain feel good, get your heart pumping. You will notice a difference after a few days.
- TAKE A BREAK - have a little 'me' time. Try and remember something that you used to do before the baby came along that made you feel good, feel like yourself and feel relaxed. Maybe you love reading a good book while lazing in the shade, or going out for a coffee and cake, or watching your favourite show. Ask someone if they can come over for a little while and mind the baby so you can go out. Or go out for a walk as soon as your husband comes in the door. Don't feel guilty! You need it! You will come back happier and more relaxed:)
- go on a DATE with your husband or partner! He needs you too and you may just have some fun! Remember what its like to just be the two of you:) We have regular date nights, whether we go out or stay at home, we make sure that we get time that's just for the two of us, without interruptions. Eat your favourite food, watch a dvd, go for a bushwalk, go bowling, whatever you love to do together - do something fun! After our first baby was born, my husband and I managed a date for about 40 minutes to eat some spaghetti at an italian restaurant up the road, until my mum called to say that the baby was screaming! Don't worry, it will get easier and the dates will get longer. Don't be afraid to leave your baby with someone who can care for them. They may cry, but they will be ok.
- A COUNSELLOR - can help with good coping strategies, and is someone who you can talk to who is outside of the situation, unbiased and unjudgemental. A community health centre may be able to help you find a good counsellor. Believe me, it won't be as bad as you think it will be - be brave!
- GOOD FRIENDS - if you haven't got someone that you feel can understand you and your situation, pray for a good friend and be on the lookout for one. It's so helpful to have a good friend that you can vent with and who can encourage and reassure you. Try and meet up with a more experienced mum whom you look up to, there is so much advice and grace from some wonderful mums out there!
- and lastly - give yourself a break! This is not the time to be worrying about cooking three course gourmet meals (unless of course that gives you great joy!) and making your house spotless! I gave up on the eternal quest for skinniness, just because I didn't need another pressure and unrealistic expectation on my life, and because chocolate makes me feel better:) Being a mummy is a huge learning curve, embrace it, learn, try and try again, but don't beat up on yourself. Everyday is a new day and you can do it! You are amazing! You're not perfect and you're going to make mistakes. But you are beautiful and amazing and strong and you can do it.
Ok, some of you may have noticed that I didn't say to pack your Bible into your handbag. I've had days were the words of the Bible were just a blur before me! What I have needed though is to be on my knees before God pouring my heart out to Him. God is the one who will get you through. Ask Him for a promise and He will give you something strong that you can stand on. He will light the path before you, even if it is just one step at a time.
Lots of love,
Sarah x
Jeremiah 29
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity...."
This is going to be a bit more of a practical post. If you're going through it right now, you probably want to feel that you're not alone, but I just want to share a few things that have helped me so much and I hope can help you too.
things to pack in your handbag and use when needed - some everyday:
- SUNSHINE - get some vitamin D EVERYDAY! lack of vitamin d is linked to depression, just sitting on the back step in the sun for five minutes watching the birds and breathing can help so much
- VITAMIN B deficiencies are also linked with depression. I notice a huge difference in my mood when I take vitamin B supplements regularly and when I don't.
- EXERCISE - even though you feel like crawling up in a ball, you have to make yourself get some exercise. Exercise releases endorphins which make your brain feel good, get your heart pumping. You will notice a difference after a few days.
- TAKE A BREAK - have a little 'me' time. Try and remember something that you used to do before the baby came along that made you feel good, feel like yourself and feel relaxed. Maybe you love reading a good book while lazing in the shade, or going out for a coffee and cake, or watching your favourite show. Ask someone if they can come over for a little while and mind the baby so you can go out. Or go out for a walk as soon as your husband comes in the door. Don't feel guilty! You need it! You will come back happier and more relaxed:)
- go on a DATE with your husband or partner! He needs you too and you may just have some fun! Remember what its like to just be the two of you:) We have regular date nights, whether we go out or stay at home, we make sure that we get time that's just for the two of us, without interruptions. Eat your favourite food, watch a dvd, go for a bushwalk, go bowling, whatever you love to do together - do something fun! After our first baby was born, my husband and I managed a date for about 40 minutes to eat some spaghetti at an italian restaurant up the road, until my mum called to say that the baby was screaming! Don't worry, it will get easier and the dates will get longer. Don't be afraid to leave your baby with someone who can care for them. They may cry, but they will be ok.
- A COUNSELLOR - can help with good coping strategies, and is someone who you can talk to who is outside of the situation, unbiased and unjudgemental. A community health centre may be able to help you find a good counsellor. Believe me, it won't be as bad as you think it will be - be brave!
- GOOD FRIENDS - if you haven't got someone that you feel can understand you and your situation, pray for a good friend and be on the lookout for one. It's so helpful to have a good friend that you can vent with and who can encourage and reassure you. Try and meet up with a more experienced mum whom you look up to, there is so much advice and grace from some wonderful mums out there!
- and lastly - give yourself a break! This is not the time to be worrying about cooking three course gourmet meals (unless of course that gives you great joy!) and making your house spotless! I gave up on the eternal quest for skinniness, just because I didn't need another pressure and unrealistic expectation on my life, and because chocolate makes me feel better:) Being a mummy is a huge learning curve, embrace it, learn, try and try again, but don't beat up on yourself. Everyday is a new day and you can do it! You are amazing! You're not perfect and you're going to make mistakes. But you are beautiful and amazing and strong and you can do it.
Ok, some of you may have noticed that I didn't say to pack your Bible into your handbag. I've had days were the words of the Bible were just a blur before me! What I have needed though is to be on my knees before God pouring my heart out to Him. God is the one who will get you through. Ask Him for a promise and He will give you something strong that you can stand on. He will light the path before you, even if it is just one step at a time.
Lots of love,
Sarah x
Jeremiah 29
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity...."
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